Malternatives, today rambling rums

January 24, 2016

Malternatives, today rambling rums

Selected at random, as we like to do. Let’s hope that we won’t stumble upon some that are sickly sweet, I’m really beginning to hate those! Let’s see (with the help of WF’s new mousers, Zooloo and Aston, who’ll kind of select the rums with their paws)… Oh and the two buggers can get very nasty...

Old Monk 'Supreme XXX Rum' (42.8%, OB, Indian rum, +/-2015)

Blimey, the Old Monk! This starts well… It’s some Indian blend, made in Uttar Pradesh, aged for seven years, I believe. Colour: dark amber. Nose: but it’s not ugly, not at all! Sure it’s very molassy, but it’s got this heavy style that can also be found in some Demeraras. Tar, cane juice, oil, ashes, overripe bananas… This would beat many a lazy South-American on the nose, IMHO. Mouth: yes, really, it’s fine and fair heavy-style molasses-based rum. There’s probably some added sugar, but we’re not over the top, and this cane-y side kind of balances that. Seriously, I find it pretty good, if not utterly complex. Well, it’s not complex at all. Finish: medium, a little more on coffee liqueur. Kahlua. Comments: I’m really surprised. SGP:640 - 76 points.

Diplomatico ‘Reserva’ (40%, OB, Venezuela, +/-2015)

Vorsicht! Caution! Attention! Colour: amber. Nose: not much. Burnt sugar, overcooked coffee, stewed artichokes, molasses, cardboard… I’m afraid this won’t be very diplomatic. What’s sure is that this is a no-nose rum, especially after the Indian that had much more to tell us. Mouth: more burnt sugar, some regular sugar, corn syrup, caramel, plum liqueur, and bags of vanillin. Most probably not one to sip on its own, you really need to add ‘something’. Like, plenty of ice. Finish: short, but a little thick, which isn’t a pleasant feeling. Comments: more a liqueur than ‘rum’. Exactly the unbalanced style that I do not like, but if you’ve got a sweet tooth, why not? Plus, it’s relatively cheap. Now, it’s the opposite of a proper malternative. SGP:720 - 58 points.

Flor de Caña 25 yo (40%, OB, Nicaragua, +/-2014)

This older one sounds promising, provided we can believe in the age statement. Now the bad news about the dying cane cutters just where this is produced (a matter of pesticides, apparently) is a little worrying . Maybe we shouldn’t drink too much of this… Colour: very dark amber. Nose: polished woods and plenty of chocolate, also prunes and black raisins, and almost no fruitiness. This nose is surprisingly dry and austere – which is something we often like. Mouth: starts a little sweetish and weakish, as it’s lacking power, but I find it relatively complex, with nice stewed bananas and guavas, plus some caramel and some honey. What I really enjoy is the nutty side. Honey-coated roasted pecans spring to mind. Too bad the sugar starts to come out after twenty seconds, making it, well, sugary. Finish: a little short and a little too sweet, but there are pineapples and I like pineapples. Kahlua again in the aftertaste. Comments: not my style, but there’s no doubt whatsoever that this syrupy rum is ‘very good rum’, but I enjoyed India’s much cheaper Old Monk almost as much. SGP:620 - 76 points.

Zooloo and Aston, please! Oh, no…

Pampero 'Añejo Selección 1938' (40%, OB, Venezuela, +/-2014)

Rum distilled in 1938, how cool is that? Pfff… Colour: amber. Nose: hey hey, no, this is rather nice! It’s full of caramel but it is nice caramel, and at least the sugarcane is not totally muzzled. There’s this very discreet briny side that I enjoy so much – although there could be more of that. And a pecan pie – love pecan pie. Mouth: nah, it is too sweet, too cloying, and a little too whorish/vulgar, but I find it a notch better than the Flor de Caña. It’s got more zing and more oomph, which partly balances the sugary side. But it remains very molassy. Finish: medium, sugary, syrupy… Oh well… Comments: some honest and loyal sweet South-American rum. SGP:620 - 77 points.

Bloody kittens, please guys, couldn’t you do better?... (but at least we’re getting rid of the junk…)

Ron Viejo De Caldas 8 yo (37.5%, OB, Columbia, +/-2014)

Yeah, right, thank you! Colour: amber. Nose: what the hell is this? Gym socks and rotten turnips? Stale balsamic vinegar and baby vomit? Quick… Mouth: not much happening – which is actually great news. Fruits squeezed two days ago, old pineapples, sugared water… It’s severely handicapped spirit. And yet it tends to improve a bit if you give it a little time, with an herbal side that’s kind of enjoyable. Spanish faked chartreuse bought for 6€ a litre in Andorra – stuff like that. Despite that there’s no body and no structure, I’m afraid. Finish: very short. Bad genepy for tourists. Comments: no. A very weak thing, but what’s good is that it is an opportunity to use the lower end of the 100-scale. SGP:630 - 30 points.

Meow, meow… Please!...

Lost Spirits 'Polynesian Inspired Rum' (66%, OB, USA, 2015)

Ha, ha, and I mean, ha! I’m a fan of Lost Spirits, they’re the Marcel Duchamps of the spirit world. Sadly I haven’t got much time so I won’t google this, but what I’ve heard is that they’re using some kind of secret technology to do some flash aging on their spirits. How fun is that? Will this be the Kraftwerk of rum? Let’s see… (as for Polynesian rums, I’m afraid I have little clues). Colour: dark amber. Nose: strong! I’m finding this nose a little sour and very caramely, but hey, 66% vol.! So… With water: me likes. Cane, olive brine, sour cream, mezcal, onion soup… What’s not to like? Mouth (neat): good and strong. What’s sure is that it easily beats Austria’s Stroh and Australia’s Bundaberg Overproof, aka the window cleaners. With water: it doesn’t feel aged, actually, but I’m a sucker for great white rums and clairins, so I won’t complain. Lime, olives, brine… But why ‘Polynesian’? This is rather agricole-y, say midway between Martinique and Haiti. Very very good. Finish: same, with just a thin layer of soft caramel. Comments: great distillate. Not sure I wouldn’t have kept it white, though, but obviously not my business. SGP:472 - 87 points.

Thank you Aston and Zooloo, good work. Could we have just one more?... Oh, no!!!...

Zacapa 23 'Centenario Sistema Solera' (40%, OB, Guatemala, +/-2015)

Most websites, even the largest and the most respected ones, keep advertising this as a 23 years old. It is not, for crying out loud! It’s probably not even 10, some even say it’s 6. Colour: dark amber. Nose: some kind of blend of fruit syrups (plums) with orange blossom water and molasses. It’s not ugly, at all, it’s just light and a little undemanding. In other words, innocuous… Mouth: much too sugary. Another liqueur. I find this unpleasant, cloying, and really too sticky, despite a thin body. Pineapple syrup. Sure it’s soft, but between softness and evanescence, there’s not enough room for the thinnest cigarette wrapper. Finish: very short. Comments: a poor and weakish little thing, in my opinion. Pure bottled marketing. I had found previous batches rather bolder, having said that. SGP:720 - 50 points (out of Christian charity - but remember, it's all a matter of personal taste).

Check the index of all rums I've tasted so far