Take deodorant for example – she hates it, and I hate it too. It’s not natural is it – putting all that icky chemical stuff all over yourself just to stop your body from doing something natural. And she has a thing about so-called ‘English breakfasts’ with baked-beans – don’t they just make you vomit? She’s also got a big problem with so-called ‘attention deficit syndrome’ (ADS), with which I also completely agree. You know, vaguely over-active kids who can’t sit still and get over-excited with stuff, for which now they’re increasingly pumped full of drugs such as methylphenidate (found in patent drugs such as Ritalin).

And it stays at the same pace for pretty much all of the night. Of course most of the audience know exactly what to expect – they’re believers, and they’re here to worship. Take my friend Colin whom I bump into by chance (a great admirer of Whiskyfun, Serge, and a passionate and very professional advocate for all single malt whisky, the wonderful Bowmore in particular) – he tells me he’s been to every Patti Smith gig since 1966 (some exaggeration perhaps Colin?), and tonight he’s here with a surprisingly lively party of undertakers from Cornwall. They’ve got their eyes on the cadaverous form next to me – male, around 23, who stands all night trancelike mumbling the words to all the songs and occasionally grinning. In front we have two city-boy drum enthusiasts who swap braggadocio about the size of their tom-toms, and next to them two old guys who are trying to recapture their youth by downing prodigious quantities of what passes for beer in this place (they eventually leave somewhat unsteadily, but very happy).

The set mixes these ‘new’ songs and some Smith classics like ‘Redondo Beach’, ‘Privilege’, ‘Pissing in a river’, ‘Because the night’, ‘Rock n’ roll nigger’. From Twelve she largely picks the strongest songs – a remarkable ‘Are you experienced’, an intriguing and unexpected ‘Within you and without you’, a powerful ‘White Rabbit’ which she cleverly uses as a platform to express her rage against ADS, and a steamy version of the Door’s ‘Soul kitchen’. Best of all is ‘Smells like teen spirit’ which she manages to make her own, mystifying the two beer-drinking guys who have clearly never heard of Nirvana.

Not to worry. Nothing could knock the gloss off this outstanding performance. It’s assisted by the playing of veterans Lenny Kaye (guitar) and Jay Dee Daugherty (drums), along with accomplished multi-instrumentalist Tony Shannon. But the plaudits have to go to Ms Smith. She towered over the Roundhouse’s performance space like a giant – she threw off an aura (I think that’s the word Serge) that was as entrancing and as captivating as the most exotic perfume. The night belonged entirely to her – and I still haven’t stopped talking about it. If I gave stars or points for concerts, which I don’t, this would have to be five and 95 respectively. Non plus ultra, as we sometimes say. - Nick Morgan

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